I am a very logical person, and I have always been. For better or worse I have never been able to escape that voice in the back of my mind telling me that one option was safer than the other, and for me the safe one was the only one that really made sense. For most of my life that has served me well and has been of great comfort. For many reasons over the last few years nothing has seemed to be as cut and dry anymore. While that should seem disconcerting to a non-risk taker as myself, I have really learned that my analytical way of approaching things was only really ever in my head. The times when I thought I had control, in fact I never really did.Lately this has been a very comical experience as my life has been in a state of change and it has really revealed what I actually believe about the nature of God, not my belief in God, but my awareness of who He is. When viewed in the context of a loving Father, the impossible is absolutely possible. And it makes me wonder, do we limit God and the power that he has in our life by applying our small-mindedness or is our understanding just limited. I don't want to live with those limitations any more. No limitations as I try to fulfill the checklist I have made for myself or those made for me. There is such an overwhelming of freedom that washes over me, even as I type those words. It's exhilarating to think about what can happen in and through my life as I try to step out of the way of myself. The best part is that even if nothing in my life changes, from this point on, I have learned to love it as is. Without hesitation or regret.
Maybe this is what comes from turning 30, the wisdom of this silly age, or maybe it's just another major change in my life and mind and God continues to show off. We will have to see...
