Thankful for - SAVANNAH'S SMILE

This is a continuation of my "thankful" series started several months ago based on a bible study I went to. But this post will focus solely on my niece, Savannah Lauren.

She will be turning two this week and that’s a pretty big deal to me. You see we found out that Savannah was joining our family in a very surprising way. My brother was stationed overseas with the Army Special Forces and we didn’t really get to talk to him during his deployments unless it was an emergency. One night we got a surprise call from him to let us know that Savannah was on her way. The weeks raced by and all too quickly we were receiving phone calls that Julie was in the hospital, and Savannah was being born (a full 8 weeks early). Over the next two weeks things were very cautious but with all of the spirit of both her mother and father little Savannah came home quickly and grew stronger and stronger and has continued to ever since.











I am thankful for - Savannah and for her beautiful SMILE. I have never been one of those people who looked at a baby and was able to see their parents in them, but for some reason with Savannah things have been different. When I look at her I see so much of my brother. She is like a little mirror image of him, with just enough of her beautiful mother mixed in to make her the perfect little girl. But her smile and her facial expressions are all Tim. The odd part about it is that I am only like 15 months older then him so it's not like I actually remember him as a child enough to see him in her, but there is just something about it that clicks.

The distance between us makes it hard, but that means that every picture and every visit makes all the difference. So happy birthday little Savvy. Aunt B loves you very much.

An anecdote on soul mates

Another quote from my reading "eat, pray, love".....
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet because they will tear down your walls and smack you awake."

When I read those words it really did kind of shake me for a second because it is so contrary to what we are taught and shown to believe. I have only had one person that I have ever come across in my life that I ever thought of as my soul mate. Thinking about it now it's kind of funny because it wasn't a serious relationship or anything, it was just a person that I connected with more then I ever have before and nothing ever felt like the right way to describe it other then a soul mate. Now the question is, does that mean that he was/is the only person I would be happy marrying? I certainly hope not as I haven't actually seen him in about 10 years and I think that his wife would probably have an issue with it as well.

So where does that leave us on the theory? I don't know and didn't really expect to share an answer but thought I would share the theory and at least get you thinking.

When all else fails you Remain

So I have quite a lot of time on my hands over the past two weeks and I have wanted to get caught up on my list of blog ideas. I keep this running note pad of things that I want to write about and so I tackle them one at a time as I get a chance. (There is your peek behind the curtain of the Oz that is my blogging life.) So an ironic thing is that for the past 8 1/2 years I had a steady stream of free Christian music given to me by the armful. More then I could listen to and more then I frankly cared to listen to. Mind you, that is not a slam on Christian music as much as a commentary on the volume of music that I was being given and my non-adventurous nature so I would find something that I liked and stick with it until I became sick of it. Needless to say a good amount of music slipped by me during those years without so much as a listen. Now I am in a musical desert where my source of new music, Christian or mainstream, is my Pandora playlists. It's funny the way things change.

One of the funniest things has been the discovery of the group Starfield (Christian band). I vividly remember their cd's passing through my hands as I gave them away. Now I have purchased their songs for .99 each contributing to the economy and boosting their mainstream SoundScan numbers. One song in particular that has really stuck with me and I find myself singing as I go throughout my day almost more then any other song in the past 6 months is their song Remain. So I thought I would share it with the world as my own way of making up for the fact that it was previously passed over.

Enjoy...

Defender of this heart
You loved me from the start
You never change

Through the highs and lows
As seasons come and go
You never fail

Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good

CHORUS:
You are God with us
You're victorious
You are strong and mighty to save
For Your word stands true
There is none like You
And when all else fades
You remain

When troubles come my way
You guide and You sustain
Lead me, I pray

Forever You will be
The great eternal King
Now and always

Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good

Wrestling with God on a muggy day in May

I have been wondering lately where the line is between asking God for more in your life and being ungrateful for all you have been given. I have been overwhelmed over the last few months by a mixture of torn emotions, a wrestling if you will, between God and I as I have spent quiet moments thinking about my life. Over the past 8 months, heck the past 2 years, there have been many things that have been taken away from my life and yet there have been a surprising number of things that have been added to my life, which leaves me with the question I began with. Where is the line between gratitude and dissatisfaction?

About ten years ago The Prayer of Jabez was all the rage. Everyone was reading the book, quoting the passage and it was taped up on mirrors and cars everywhere. Not since the Revolutionary War has God heard more people praying for more territory and with few of them understanding what the implications would be. What was God thinking during that time? Did he think we were a land full of greedy Americans, as usual, or did he say "finally they have realized that they don't have to be satisfied with this earthly version of life"? Did he give a sigh of relief that we were finally getting how much more there was that he wanted to give us and that he wanted us to do for him?

Jacob wrestled with an angel and didn't let go until he received a blessing. Now if you follow this story out you see that he walks away crippled for the rest of his life. Again it begs the question did the injury occur because he wouldn't let go without needing the blessing or because when you have an encounter with someone or something so holy you will always walk away changed.

So I guess I am wrestling thought. What happens when we are dissatisfied with things in your life, in your relationship with God, in the lives of those you love. What do you do with the question “Is this answer to their prayer, forever?” I am not a person who ever settles for things, which is a double-edged sword. I am not given over completely to the Pollyanna mindset to think that tomorrow is another day and everyone and everything will be better if you just think positive thoughts and smile, but as I see these situations in my life and that of my friends and family I am forced to challenge the notion that things will remain the same forever. And here I sit, on a muggy day in May still wrestling and still praying.