The illogical in the world of a very logical girl

I am a very logical person, and I have always been. For better or worse I have never been able to escape that voice in the back of my mind telling me that one option was safer than the other, and for me the safe one was the only one that really made sense. For most of my life that has served me well and has been of great comfort. For many reasons over the last few years nothing has seemed to be as cut and dry anymore. While that should seem disconcerting to a non-risk taker as myself, I have really learned that my analytical way of approaching things was only really ever in my head. The times when I thought I had control, in fact I never really did.

Lately this has been a very comical experience as my life has been in a state of change and it has really revealed what I actually believe about the nature of God, not my belief in God, but my awareness of who He is. When viewed in the context of a loving Father, the impossible is absolutely possible. And it makes me wonder, do we limit God and the power that he has in our life by applying our small-mindedness or is our understanding just limited. I don't want to live with those limitations any more. No limitations as I try to fulfill the checklist I have made for myself or those made for me. There is such an overwhelming of freedom that washes over me, even as I type those words. It's exhilarating to think about what can happen in and through my life as I try to step out of the way of myself. The best part is that even if nothing in my life changes, from this point on, I have learned to love it as is. Without hesitation or regret.

Maybe this is what comes from turning 30, the wisdom of this silly age, or maybe it's just another major change in my life and mind and God continues to show off. We will have to see...

A break from all seriousness - Best Pranks I ever pulled

So when I tried to pull together the finalists for my favorite pranks ever it became a little tricky. Partially because I think I am forgetting some of them (which is epically sad) and secondly because I just can't choose between them all so we will go through the top two that I can remember, which we can add to with your memories.

1- Chelsea's 13th Birthday: A yard full of 13 flamingo's. Slightly tacky, but definitely the embarrassing surprise to the teenage world that I was going for and a guarantee that she never again looks at a flamingo the same way again.

2 - Okay, another would be a workplace prank. While working at an un-named music company,we had a group of people that had become a little too comfortable working together. So one night a group of girls just thought that we would TP, that's toilet paper to those of us in the "Biz", but when we got down there and got working on it we were inspired. We replaced their pens with tampons, disconnected their keyboards, changed their computer passwords only after putting annoying children's music on repeat. Filled their coffee cups full of marshmallows and probably a dozen more things that I can't think of now. Their offices were a wreak, nothing was damaged mind you, just altered.....redecorated if you will.  For good measure we also trailed a roll of toilet paper out of the office and down the hall.

There are SO many more and I will probably add more posts along these lines, but these were the two that popped in my head. What are your best pranks? I want some fresh ideas.

wandering

I am up at 3am pondering what's next for my life. I am sitting, pencil and paper in hand, and trying to make plans for the future and I have a sensation I haven't experienced in many years. I can clearly remember a particular elevator ride at my first job, about 10 years ago. The doors closed, I took a deep breath and said to myself, "I feel so grown up, I hope that they don't figure out that I don't belong here". That job taught me what I would LOVE to do. It made me feel completely alive. Everything seemed to come together and click. As I write down different options for my future I am thrilled to be experiencing a similar sensation and its energizing. While I can't see the whole path before me and there are still a LOT of questions, everything just feels right. I know that God does provide, and my life is a perfect example of that. So I will continue to put one foot in front of another. Who knows, the path MAY end up going exactly like the paper says that it will. Here's a very hopeful heart believing.

Life

In a recent article about one of my favorite actresses she says "I want to continue to celebrate where I am and not be apologetic." this short and pretty simple statement really struck me. You see I am 31 years old and my life has taken me on many detours and finally led me to a place I never expected to be. I think most people have that internal timeline with expectations for each milestone. I vivdly remember talking with a dear friend of mine when he was 30 and she was lamenting her single life and I can remember thinking to myself how tragic it really was for her and having to thought that I would find myself in her shoes. During that same time I had friends who were out of work for a long time and I pitied them and honestly thought that they were at that place due to poor work ethic or ability, yet I have been taking odd jobs outside my area of expertise for almost 7 months. Even typing that kind of takes my breath away. But this isn't a blog expresses the woes of life. It is sharing something I have learned, and continue to learn. My life is my life. It is what it is and so I have to embrace it, not apologize for it or regret it. Not internally or externally. My path may be different than I thought it would be but there are a ton of things that I thought were true that time has shown to be the opposite.

I no longer will dread saying my age or be ashamed of where my path has lead me career wise or personally. I'm going to give myself a break and EMBRACE where I am and what has brought me to this point, after all this is the only life I have and I won't be able to go anywhere by constantly looking behind me.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Chicago, IL

An unexpected phone call

Today could easily marked by three unexpected phone calls received within moments of eachother. One involved a coworker trying to assit a person struggling with their purchases, the other occurred while I was taking a 15 minute break at work and the last happened while I was wandering around walmart in my pajamas.

The first was the standard woman, overly busy and overly obsessed with herself. Too busy to speak to the friendly associate in front of her but rather just shout out orders , while remaining on the phone, treating my friend as if nothing more than a slave. Now the work was not laborous but the lack of respect shown during the process was really the problem. Word to all consumers: the people who work at tha various retail stores are in fact human beings and such they deserve to dealt with. You never know the reason they are there or the live the endure. We do not have a caste system here in america and God definitely didn't provide for one, so think about the hurt and tears of a person when you treat them as a slave.

Second call was received while sitting, or rather collapsing at my second job reminding myself that there was only one hour left. But while checking messages I discovered something. The day which had been such a mess with an important interview to match had not been such a mess after all as they wanted to speak with me again. Hope again is rising for what lies ahead.

The third call came through while in the shoe section at walmart, of all places. The phone rang and the best kid I have ever met was on the phone, ready for his surprise. His sissy, his fav person, was taking the long and expensive voyage to see him to help celebrate his miraculous arrival on earth and in our family. I must admit his excitement about my visit was greatly enhanced as he knew a special star wars toy would be accompanying me on my trip in to the great White.

So three unexpected calls. Two gave hope and light at the very busy tunnel we are all in, and one only left hurt and discouragement. What will your next call be like?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Nolensville Pike,Nashville,United States

Beautiful Mess

Today was a day that I thought would be pure magic. I woke up and from beginning to end it was a seeming disappointment. Starting with a hair dryer that broke just about 10 minutes before I needed it, to a night spent chasing a stray dog in this frozen tundra. Why do things always seem to turn out this way? Do I believe in things that just aren't true? Is my sense of reality just a hair off? Have I seen too movies or read too many books that my expectations of life have become skewed? Whatever it is I find myself here more often than I would like.

In the midst of the unending mishaps there were moments of beauty in everything. Hope on the faces of those who have been hopeless, restored by the healing power of a good night sleep and the private words of encouragement between two friends. Wonder in watching the prayers of thousands of people accomplishing the simple task of taking communion, and endless inspiration by the questions of the unbelieving.

Life's not pretty, not my life and not those around me, but that's not how God always works. Its not always green pastures and lives that seemingly go perfectly according to schedule. Sometimes we are the children of Israel wading through the years of slavery or rebuilding friendships through grief and loss. Never removed from the power and love of our God, but learning what faith really is. Figuring out what its like to commit your life to a cause when it hurts; when it's not easy. Life is a mess, Faith is not always beautiful. Does that make it any less grand? Any less worthy of a life of devotion? It's not what we would have wished for, but that's our job, to try to find the beauty in all of the mess.