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Thankful for - TECHNOLOGY

My DVR: I will admit it, I watch way too much tv. I don't know exactly when it started, but I really do enjoy it. Probably about 4-5 years ago a glorious thing came in to my life and it's name was DVR (digital video recorder), which is basically a cable tv version of tivo. It pretty much is the best invention in the world. I don't know that I even watch anything that is not on my DVR and have not even considered not having it installed every place that I move when I have held off on getting Internet. It's funny, I know but I can't live without it.

My iPhone: On this one it is a fast love type of thing. I just got the phone a few months ago and while there is endless amounts to learn it never ceases to amaze me. Anything that I can dream of needing it does or can find or, wait for it, there is an app for it. Just holding it in my hand and knowing its there makes me feel more powerful and able to take on the city of Dallas and next the world.

Book of Questions

One of the best books to just have at your disposal, in case you need it, is the Book of Questions. The other night I was sorting through things and deciding which items should be kept and which should be donated to charity. As fate or a cruel trick of nature I came across the Book of Questions which basically put me a good hour behind my schedule on the sorting. So from time to time I am going to throw a question out there and see if I get a response. So here goes:



Question #41 "Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire; after saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? "
Now a time for you to share
I think that I would try to grab my big suitcase which would have all of my pictures and memories inside. Now there are probably 10-15 items that I really love and are family heirlooms that I love and would treasure having around a little more consistently, so do I go ahead and box them up so that if the random act where to happen I would be ready? But then you aren't really enjoying them.

Your Thoughts?
What do you think? On that final dash to save one item, what would you grab and why?

Jon & Kate Plus 8

Okay, I will start with saying that I do realize that I am about to blog about a TV show, and there is a certain part that is pathetic, but I just had to say something.

I have watched this show for quite a few years and I will say that I wasn't very surprised to see at the end of last season that Jon was not thrilled about doing another season and that was the whole cliffhanger, was would they be back or not. Now mind you, this was before any of the stories or rumors about Jon broke, but over the last season he had just become less interested in being on camera at all. And to be honest I saw random stories about the different things, but I really didn't pay much attention to them so when the first show came out I actually had missed it on my DVR, and saw the second and third episodes first. While those shows didn't look too different from the end of last season (just like a busy family), I happened upon the first episode and I was absolutely floored by it.

To watch a show that is usually so happy and even when things were tough you can still see things come together. But to see it so very different was heartbreaking. This is where I am going to the extreme, I realize. As I watched the looks on their faces and them dodge each other for their child's birthday party, I was speechless and could do nothing but shake my head. It broke my heart for their 8 children and for their little hearts, and yes I will say it, It broke my hearts for Jon and Kate and the hurt that they are going through. You see in their show they have talked about the fact that they are constantly filming. They don't take a period of time off, like some shows do. While they aren't filming 24/7, they don't film for 3 months and take 3 months off. So in a show like this, unlike The Hills, you do feel like you see a certain amount of authenticity. This is a christian family and to see it being torn apart is hard to watch.

Now I am not naive. I do not believe that this type of thing does not happen, nor do I believe that it is more heartbreaking when seen in the lives of people on tv. It is devastating when lives are torn apart whether they are co-workers, friends, pastors or family. But as I sat and watched this family I truly believe that this is not just the natural evolution of living in a fallen world. There are other forces at work here and for first time in my life I found myself praying for a television show. And I have to be honest and say that it didn't end there. When I woke up the next morning Jon & Kate were the first people on my mind again. If God can bring dead people back to life he can bring a dead marriage back to life. Whether that of a TV family or of any other. So it is with a little embarasement that I will admit that I will be praying for them. Not to ensure the success of their show or so they can sell another book, but for the lives of the 10 people that myself and millions of others were all too happy to watch for an hour a week.

Thankful for - SAVANNAH'S SMILE

This is a continuation of my "thankful" series started several months ago based on a bible study I went to. But this post will focus solely on my niece, Savannah Lauren.

She will be turning two this week and that’s a pretty big deal to me. You see we found out that Savannah was joining our family in a very surprising way. My brother was stationed overseas with the Army Special Forces and we didn’t really get to talk to him during his deployments unless it was an emergency. One night we got a surprise call from him to let us know that Savannah was on her way. The weeks raced by and all too quickly we were receiving phone calls that Julie was in the hospital, and Savannah was being born (a full 8 weeks early). Over the next two weeks things were very cautious but with all of the spirit of both her mother and father little Savannah came home quickly and grew stronger and stronger and has continued to ever since.











I am thankful for - Savannah and for her beautiful SMILE. I have never been one of those people who looked at a baby and was able to see their parents in them, but for some reason with Savannah things have been different. When I look at her I see so much of my brother. She is like a little mirror image of him, with just enough of her beautiful mother mixed in to make her the perfect little girl. But her smile and her facial expressions are all Tim. The odd part about it is that I am only like 15 months older then him so it's not like I actually remember him as a child enough to see him in her, but there is just something about it that clicks.

The distance between us makes it hard, but that means that every picture and every visit makes all the difference. So happy birthday little Savvy. Aunt B loves you very much.

An anecdote on soul mates

Another quote from my reading "eat, pray, love".....
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet because they will tear down your walls and smack you awake."

When I read those words it really did kind of shake me for a second because it is so contrary to what we are taught and shown to believe. I have only had one person that I have ever come across in my life that I ever thought of as my soul mate. Thinking about it now it's kind of funny because it wasn't a serious relationship or anything, it was just a person that I connected with more then I ever have before and nothing ever felt like the right way to describe it other then a soul mate. Now the question is, does that mean that he was/is the only person I would be happy marrying? I certainly hope not as I haven't actually seen him in about 10 years and I think that his wife would probably have an issue with it as well.

So where does that leave us on the theory? I don't know and didn't really expect to share an answer but thought I would share the theory and at least get you thinking.

When all else fails you Remain

So I have quite a lot of time on my hands over the past two weeks and I have wanted to get caught up on my list of blog ideas. I keep this running note pad of things that I want to write about and so I tackle them one at a time as I get a chance. (There is your peek behind the curtain of the Oz that is my blogging life.) So an ironic thing is that for the past 8 1/2 years I had a steady stream of free Christian music given to me by the armful. More then I could listen to and more then I frankly cared to listen to. Mind you, that is not a slam on Christian music as much as a commentary on the volume of music that I was being given and my non-adventurous nature so I would find something that I liked and stick with it until I became sick of it. Needless to say a good amount of music slipped by me during those years without so much as a listen. Now I am in a musical desert where my source of new music, Christian or mainstream, is my Pandora playlists. It's funny the way things change.

One of the funniest things has been the discovery of the group Starfield (Christian band). I vividly remember their cd's passing through my hands as I gave them away. Now I have purchased their songs for .99 each contributing to the economy and boosting their mainstream SoundScan numbers. One song in particular that has really stuck with me and I find myself singing as I go throughout my day almost more then any other song in the past 6 months is their song Remain. So I thought I would share it with the world as my own way of making up for the fact that it was previously passed over.

Enjoy...

Defender of this heart
You loved me from the start
You never change

Through the highs and lows
As seasons come and go
You never fail

Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good

CHORUS:
You are God with us
You're victorious
You are strong and mighty to save
For Your word stands true
There is none like You
And when all else fades
You remain

When troubles come my way
You guide and You sustain
Lead me, I pray

Forever You will be
The great eternal King
Now and always

Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good

Wrestling with God on a muggy day in May

I have been wondering lately where the line is between asking God for more in your life and being ungrateful for all you have been given. I have been overwhelmed over the last few months by a mixture of torn emotions, a wrestling if you will, between God and I as I have spent quiet moments thinking about my life. Over the past 8 months, heck the past 2 years, there have been many things that have been taken away from my life and yet there have been a surprising number of things that have been added to my life, which leaves me with the question I began with. Where is the line between gratitude and dissatisfaction?

About ten years ago The Prayer of Jabez was all the rage. Everyone was reading the book, quoting the passage and it was taped up on mirrors and cars everywhere. Not since the Revolutionary War has God heard more people praying for more territory and with few of them understanding what the implications would be. What was God thinking during that time? Did he think we were a land full of greedy Americans, as usual, or did he say "finally they have realized that they don't have to be satisfied with this earthly version of life"? Did he give a sigh of relief that we were finally getting how much more there was that he wanted to give us and that he wanted us to do for him?

Jacob wrestled with an angel and didn't let go until he received a blessing. Now if you follow this story out you see that he walks away crippled for the rest of his life. Again it begs the question did the injury occur because he wouldn't let go without needing the blessing or because when you have an encounter with someone or something so holy you will always walk away changed.

So I guess I am wrestling thought. What happens when we are dissatisfied with things in your life, in your relationship with God, in the lives of those you love. What do you do with the question “Is this answer to their prayer, forever?” I am not a person who ever settles for things, which is a double-edged sword. I am not given over completely to the Pollyanna mindset to think that tomorrow is another day and everyone and everything will be better if you just think positive thoughts and smile, but as I see these situations in my life and that of my friends and family I am forced to challenge the notion that things will remain the same forever. And here I sit, on a muggy day in May still wrestling and still praying.

Books, Books, Books

Okay, for some of you this will be new insight in to me and my world and for anyone who has helped me moved or lived in the same place with me, you know this all too much. But alas, I must confess.......I Love LOve LOVe LOVE Books. I love just the thought of books. Old books are the best, and hard backs are my favorite. When my family would force to go antique shopping I would see all of these books that I desperately wanted so I could fill a library with them. I didn't care what the books were about at 7 years old, all I knew is that they would have looked perfect on a bookshelf . So I have collected quite a few books, and even though I did scale it back before the trip from Nashville to Dallas, there still seems to be quite a number here and they continue to grow.

A couple months ago I shared about my experience at the Downtown Dallas Library and the wonder that awaits in the 8 floors of books and research materials there. It was wonderful.One of my selections was an amazing book by Elizabeth Gilbert "eat, pray, love". While a secular author and with some non-traditional views she writes some of the beautiful things that I have ever read. I encourage everyone to read it and especially women since it is about her personal and spiritual journey through different situations.

Over the next few blogs I am going to pull out gems to share and talk about them a little and get your thoughts as well......hopefully you will enjoy it.

I wonder if my life boils down to nothing but an Italian joke?

There is an old Italian joke told about a poor man who goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint. The man sits begging, "Dear saint-please, please,please...give me the grace to win the lottery. " This lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust, "My son - please, please, please....buy a lottery ticket."

How many times have I sat in this very room or in rooms all over this country listing off prayers, with complete sincerity and deepest yearning for an answer just to feel like in the end I was as effective as talking to a frozen statue. The years pass, locations may change and yet a good number of the desires and requests stay the same. What is the reason for that. Do those questions, problems, desires not matter to God?

No, they matter just as much as anything else to him but there are times when we need to "stand up and buy a lottery ticket." Not that God needs our help but we have to keep walking forward and take every opportunity that he gives us not standing aside waiting for him to magically bring everything directly to us. Our desires and dreams don't just fall in to our lap. Sometimes we have to get out of our normal comfort zone, take the chance and see what happens next.

VOLunteerism - finally done

James 2:14-17 - Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense? (MSG)

“Great Commission” Matthew 28:18-20; Mark 16:15; Luke 24:47; Acts 1:8

John 20:21 - Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you."

We have been given the same calling as Jesus had to reach out and serve the world. (NIV)

We are no longer in the world but have now become of the world. It is impossible to change a world that you are not in. We have to be living out our life in front of them before they will follow us.

But too often the church and ministry community has become homo-sectual: we only like people who are just like us, or those who live inside the same community that we do.

Psalm 96:4 - Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods.

Our ultimate motivation for everything we do is exactly that, Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised! He is why we reach out to others, not because of their need, but because of his greatness.

All too often when we talk about VOLunteering or about missions the topic seems really heavy because it feels like there is a lot of work or more things being added to your schedule. But if you are really focusing on the reason that you are serving it doesn’t become a chore or duty. Think about how it is at the beginning of a romantic relationship. All you can think about it being with that person and it really doesn't matter how late you stay up when you are together, how many miles you have to drive to make it happen.

Most of the time we see God as a means rather then the end. We serve God day after day looking for some sort of reward for our efforts. The truth is that the reward is that we were allowed to be a part of it at all. God lowered himself to our level to honor us with his presence. It is an honor and not a burden.

Have you ever had a young child help you with a project? Maybe it was making dinner or cleaning up. We all know that we could do it so much better on our own and probably ten times faster, but we love that child and it sweet to have them help. It also helps them grow to have them help. So we struggle through the process. It is the same with God. He comes down to our level and has us help us accomplish his work. Whether it is ministering to the person next door to us who doesn't believe or helping out in an area that has been hit by a natural disaster or going to the other side of the world to care for people that are the polar opposite from us.

The thing is God is going to accomplish his work with or without us (Rev. 22), but he honors us by allowing us to be a part of it.

If you truly want to know if you love God, and you want to see him reigning in your life you will see it reflected when you engage the world around you, not how well you can sing in praise and worship or can talk about him. You will see what happens when you serve.

We need to find ways to engage in what’s going on around the city and around the world. Not only is a good discipline for us as a staff but it is also a good lesson and example for the coaches and students we are leading. We need to find groups and individual organizations for us to contribute our time and treasure to.

We should wake up every day not going through our list of agenda items for the day, but asking God what he has for us to do with the day.

John 17:4 - I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.

That should be our goal at the end of everything, to be able to say those worlds to God. We usually focus on what we want to hear God say to us. That he is proud of us and that we have been faithful. But Jesus faced the end of his time earth with confidence. He knew that each day he had responsibilities given to him by God and in those last moments he felt a sense of release.

From a personal level, If this week was all there was, do you believe you have a race you should be running? Do you have things God has called you to that you have yet to complete? If this YEAR was all there was?

References from: Christine Caine, Francis Chan and Jeff Lewis

The devotional I can't seem to write

As part of our work here at FCA each of the staff is assigned a devotion to share in our staff meeting. Well this is my second time around and both times I have been really lucky. You see we are also assigned the topic so depending on how the cards fall you could end up with a topic that you really don't like or maybe just are indifferent to. In my case the first one was exactly about something that I had been going through over the past several months and so I was able to share very candidly and honestly with a group of people that were still pretty much strangers at that point. With this new devotion that I have been assigned for this upcoming week, the topic is Volunteerism. Coming from the great state of Tennessee the first thing I think of is the sports team (and the school) which should make my employer and co-workers proud. But the real theme is something that I am again very passionate about. Being born in to a pastor's family I have been taught that volunteering is not something you do, it's something you are. It's just a natural part of your life and you don't just do the things that are convenient but you make your life work around the things that you are committed to. Thinking back I guess I can pinpoint times when I did it simply out of obligation or duty, but honestly I really do love it.

Back to the devotion....So I have known about the topic and date for this devotion for about 3 weeks and have been excited about it and started doing some extra reading, listening to podcasts, etc. Just didn't want to re-circulate the same information to a room full of people most of whom went to seminary so have more technical bible schooling then I do. Yet with all of the work, all the notes here I sit....1am on the Friday before the devotion and just the starting verse on the final draft. Isn't that odd?

It can't really be writers block as I have to write quite a bit for work and so I am getting used to spending a good portion of each day coming up with copy. It makes me sad because I have some great notes and if I pull them together well it could end up being a really good devotion and I would have to cut about half of the notes. So somehow getting the great topic, that I am so passionate about has caused me to flounder around searching for the answer. Maybe I should have prayed for one of the other choices that at first glance didn't make me excited to talk about (Spiritual Formation, Care or Reproduction).

Here's hoping that before the beginning of the week God and I figure out a way to get these thoughts down on paper.

Observation on the move

Just a very short observation today that I have been pondering over the past week or so. Changing your location doesn't change things, it just changes the faces you see when you look around. I think that when we all talked about this move we thought it would be like the windex in Big Fat Greek Wedding, the cure-all when in fact it's just window cleaner.

So nothing too profound to share, just thought that I would send this out in to the world.

**To clarify, I am not saying that I don't like it here in the fabulous state of Texas, just taking a look back. I am a fan of self analysis now and then.**

Thankful for - FAMILY

I have really been struck lately by the impact that family has on people. Last week I was at an FCA conference where Joel Engle was the worship leader. During one of the sessions he talked about his family. He only knew his mother for a short while, never met his father and his grandparents passed away when we was still young putting him in an orphanage. (He sang a song about his father and I linked it below.)

As I heard the song and thought about situations in my own life I was overwhelmed. I have been incredibly blessed in my life with my family. I grew up in a an incredibly close family, on my Dad's side. At times we lived next door to my cousin's and those are my earliest childhood memories. Running back and forth across the church parking lot to each others house. With every bit of my heart and mind I know that those Aunt's and Uncle's, and cousin's loved me and still would do anything for me. Even when I don't see them for months or even year's at a time, the foundation of those relationships don't change.

My Grandfather and Grandmother are two of the hardest working and loving people I have in my life. They have doted on me every day of my life and I have never felt unloved or even un-adored by them. They have instilled in me a servants heart and compassion for others and unending dedication to ministry. My Grandfather is a lifelong learner and is the only one of my friends grandparents to not only be on facebook but to check it incessantly. My Grandmother is the classic Leave it to Beaver mom and prides herself on it. I would like to say I wish to be like her at her age, but I fear that I don't have her energy now so it doesn't bode well for the future hopes. They may not have been perfect people, but I think that is the joy of being a grandchild (or at least being their grandchild) because in my mind they are.

My brothers, my brothers. I begged my parents and I begged God for a sister for years, but it never worked. Then we did foster care for more than 10 years and I thought, this is my chance...we will just adopt one. What do we do? We add a brother. Oh, the irony. For most of my childhood the "majority rule" always worked against me and my mother saw right through my whining so seldomly were the cards in my favor. I think that I have enjoyed my brothers more in the last 10 years then ever before. They are great men that I would chose to know even if I wasn't forced to. Matthew Atticus, the addition to the group is by far the best of the whole group of us. He has been the joy of my world from the 3rd day of his life (which was when he entered our home).

Savannah has been the most surprising addition to my life and our family in every sense of the word and I LOVE HER! I have never before really been the type of person that could really see people's characteristics in babies, but oh my goodness, when she was born I have instantly been able to see my brother Tim in her (Julie too from time to time) but in a lot of her expressions and such. (She will be having her own dedicated blog post coming soon in the weeks to come.) My sister-in-law, Julie, can make friends faster then anyone I have ever met. She has impeccable taste and is incredibly hard working, surviving basically as a single-parent for Savannah for the whole first year of her life which blows my mind when I think about it.

When I was a young teenager I decided that just for spite I wanted to start calling my parents by their first names, instead of Mom and Dad. True to form, my mother was too stubborn to let me win and let me call her Cathy, and a lot of the time I still do. My father on the other hand would have none of it. So I can probably count on my fingers the number of times I have called him Tim. Just as with the names, my relationships with them have changed more then with anyone else I have ever known. I honestly think that my mother waited all her life to have adult children. I think she enjoys us all now more then at any other point. My dad, he is the first call for myself or for any of us kids when anything goes wrong or we don't know what to do. I honestly wonder, now that I am an adult, if he has a book somewhere that he looks in for the answers, or does he just make it up and we believe it because he says it. He is by no means a mechanic but when we have a car problem we call him and he says something with authority and we go with it. It's a little scary now knowing that there isn't instant wisdom that you receive when you hit 30, because I remember him at 30 and I am not as smart as I thought that he was. So there is a breakdown somewhere in my logic.

Okay bunny trail for a moment ***My parents decided to do foster care for babies when we were in High School, it was the craziest thing in the whole world. (Both parents worked and all three of us had very busy lives, but sure let's add a newborn to the mix. ) As we went through the process for the first few years and we had the unending questions from people about why? and how hard it was emotionally to say goodbye, I learned something. Foster care is the ultimate expression of unconditional love. Especially at that newborn stage. Seriously those babies come in and they are completely dependant and need you for all their physical needs and on top of that they need those smiles, and hugs to develop correctly. In the end, in most cases, you are preparing them to go homes with someone else. It is a long term babysitting gig that you never get paid for and never get a thank you for. *** Bunny trail ended

Marathon posting just to say, I hear these songs and I have these conversations with people who have missed out on their family (whether a mother, father, etc) and I guess in my mind I have a hard time understanding what it must be like to have that longing to belong. I have always had that security to fall back on, no matter what other crazy things may happen in my life. I am thankful for that, and I love them dearly.

Farmer's Market

I had a magical day a few weeks ago. I had been cooped up in the house for too long and it was a beautiful day so I decided that I was going to be adventurous and go exploring. So armed with GPS(round 2) I headed out to the 8 floor Dallas Library downtown to explore all of the beautiful books. It truly was like heaven. I honestly could have come home with 15-20 books to read because there was just so many that I stumbled across that were so interesting. They also had these intriguing areas that you had to sign in and out of. I admit I was a little afraid of them on this first time, but next time I am totally going to find out what is in that section. So after bout 2 hours I emerged with with The Great Gatsby (on CD), Water for Elephants and Monarchy (a book about Queen Elizabeth - after watching The Queen again I have found a new obsession).

After the library I thought I would see if I would be able to find the Farmer's Market on my own. Holly and I had visited it when she was in town in December, but it was not really the weather for the market. After a couple failed attempts to navigate the one-way's I did find it and it was beautiful. Flowers, produce that truly did feel like I had stepped through Alice's looking glass in to wonderland. After the cold and dreary winter. Walking around just energized me more and more. I felt like I could breathe deeper.

I loved it and will definitely return many times to in the future.

I LOVE holiday's

I love holiday's, I really, really love them. I don't know if I love them because of all the decorations and everything or if it is just something that just spices up the year and creates a little excitement. My favorite holiday by far is Halloween. The costumes, pumpkins, candy and trick-or-treating, the slightly sinister quality of the whole thing. I just love it.

I probably have about 10 or more boxes of holiday decor in my one-bedroom apartment and that doesn't include the 10 Christmas trees. If I had the resources or the space I could easily rationalize doubling or tripling that amount and I honestly can not convince myself to part with a single thing. I tried to before I moved and I just couldn't do it. The best part about it was that my dear friends didn't even try to make me because they too knew that it would be too hard for me. I once nannied (if that is even a real word) for a family that had a whole set of housewares for almost every season and major holiday. We are talking dishes, glasses, comforter sets, towels (for all rooms) and home decor. I worked with them off and on for several months and so changed over their home a couple times. While the first time I thought it was a little crazy I then fell in love with opening the cabinet to valentines dishes or sleeping in a bed of fall leaves. It was perfect! I decided it was definitely a long term goal. A few years ago I did buy Christmas dishes, but alas this is as far as I have gotten. But one day my friends.....one day.

My Door

At a bible study session this fall the speaker shared a brief suggestion about creating a poster board listing things you were thankful for. Something about the idea stuck with me. So I cut slips of paper and put them up on the door and they have been there ever since. The new series of blog posts will be based on those things that are my favorite things in my life, the things that I love the most and that I am most thankful for.

Ready, set, go....

Back at it

So I have taken a hiatus, if you will, from blogging. I don't really know why to be honest. I think that it is quite funny looking back now. Why is it that when you have the most to say you say the least. I find that to be a very true for me.

The end of 2008 was an incredibly busy time involving quite a few road trips. A trip to Nashville for my 30th birthday, Little Rock, AR for some friends wedding which was really more of a family reunion then just a wedding. Then a trip back to Nashville for Christmas and New Years. In the middle there my family came to Dallas for Thanksgiving which was more eventful then could possibly be imagined.

This time was also one of the most difficult as I am continuing to adjust to life in Dallas and more then the change in city I am trying to learn to live in an area without the community of family, friends and support that I have been so fortunate to have had around me for so long. **Disclaimer - I came to this city into the arms of the most amazing adoptive parents and my respect for them has grown every month that I have been here. In addition since almost my first day at work I have gained the friendship of a wonderful girl who has definitely got out of her way to make me feel welcome.

All this to say, I don't know why I stopped but I am going to get back to it.